My Personal Chronological Log of Thoughts

“晓梅要结婚了，这个周末。”

Ken 在 MSN 的另一段淡淡的说到。

长了蜘蛛网的脑袋缓慢的流过一股电流，在某个潜伏的灰白体内，晓梅的脸孔模糊的显现。一同出现的，还有 “CK” 两个字，附带 “复杂” 在两者的连带关系线上。

对啊。。 CK，那懒洋洋的CK。还有和他同房的Yi Siang，还有每天跑来他们房间的Sean, 还有毛毛的Kok Lee，还有Kok Lee 偶尔会抒情伴唱的木吉它，还有阳台上Yi Siang 随风而飘的排球运动衣，永远都热热闹闹的HD508，被Kim Hock 压断的两张单人床，桌椅零落的common room，五点钟下课后宿舍前三五成群的学生们，七点钟远处灯火初明的食堂和图书馆，十点半狭窄的小卖部前，凌晨三点寒冷的网啡，凌晨四点在阳台窃窃谈着电话的Ken，凌晨五点大路旁暖暖的云吞面，慢得掉牙的学生巴士，冷气时好时坏的KTM，Nilai Spring 买五送一十块钱的保龄球，星期六早上来接孩子的私家车。。

尘封了。

基于第一任女友的关系，我尘封了中学的记忆。

基于第二、三任女友的关系，我尘封了大学的记忆。

基于第三任女友的关系，我尘封了毕业后两年的记忆。

我的人生，只有小学和三年前开始的记忆。

现在的我还有什么呢?

老旧的奔腾866，五音不全的诺基亚，还有那去咖啡因的Nescafe。

在那陌生的街角，朦胧的灯光下，纯白店面的一角，默默无语坐着三个人。

她是她的好朋友，他是她好友的男朋友。而她，孤单的。

一百一十二小时前，她泪流满面，独坐到清晨六点，就因为一百一十九小时前，她在恋爱了半年男友的friendster留言箱里看到了那则短讯，简单的英文，”I
miss you”，复杂的背叛。

“她只是我的秘书”，男友说。

她记起了几个小时前男友手机的简讯，同样的名字，但‘她是我朋友的妹妹’。

她怀疑，他否认；

她要求解释，他懒得回应；

她怒气冲天收拾衣物，他说走了就不要后悔。

四十八小时前，她留了testimonial 给他。

十四小时后，秘书的testimonial approved 了，她无语。Testimonial 内容亦是简单的英文，”I
love you”。

八分钟前，她一面点燃香烟，一面嘻笑着说要给秘书小姐两巴掌。

两分钟前，她熄灭了速抽的第二根烟。

这一分钟，默默无语。瘦长的身躯疲惫的哆嗦在吵闹的音乐声后，仍亮着几天前为他而做的指甲油的双手紧紧地握着盛满柠檬水的杯子。

这一刹那，黯然的目光背后，我捕抓到了，

她那深深埋藏着的伤痛。

As I was driving home just now, my mind keeps on thinking of an incident my girlfriend told me this afternoon.

A female friend of my girlfriend found a message from another female to her boyfriend, with content like “I miss you”, “I love you” and such. She wonders if her boyfriend is cheating on her.

When comes to think about it, this could be real. But, could be just another prank. What wil you do if someone play such a prank on you? No matter how hard you tried, your boy/girlfriend just refuse to trust you?

Then I suddenly had the thought of disguising into another identity, a gentlemen at first, and become some friend’s friend in Friendster. And then send out similar message, and see how my friend will react to such message? Perhaps by then, everyone will know that there will always be a stranger on the internet that might come “hi, hello, miss you, love you”.

The internet is such a great tool. Frankly speaking, I will be half as dumb as of now if I were to live without it. Dictionary, wikipedia, news, analysis, reviews, tips and tricks, how-to, forums, tutorials and so much more. People are sharing infomation in all possible way and it just gets better and better. From plain text to colourful fonts, audio, video, or even interactive flash.

But on the other hand, people hide thier real identity behind the ips. People starts to become someone whom they can only dream of in reality. A nerd become the most popular chick in a forum; a face full with acnes fat chick pretending to be the most beatiful girl that she proclaim that’s her in the avatar. Cyber sex, fraud case, scammers and what’s not.

Almost 90% of internet user are what they are not in reality. (Yeah, I made up this figure, but its what I observe thru almost 15 years of internet experience). Lies become so common. Stealing of royalty were done by human with only 1 digit of years of living experience. Who still speaks true on internet nowadays?

“My name is Dick.”  “Oh, what a lovely name!”

“My mom just pass away…” “Oh I am so sorry to hear that!” (Yeah, while drinking the extra large carbonated drink and grabbing to the junkfood)

What if, there’s someone out there who still speaks the truth?

No, your hair looks ugly on you. No, that cloth sucks. No, the photographer really didnt catch the best moment. No, I am not sorry. No, that is not funny. No, they really look fake.

Can I be this someone?

Been troubled too long, yeah, far too long, for that noisy mysterious “yi~ yi~ yi~ kalak~ kalak~ kalak~” sound that my lovely Sentra is making whenever she’s running on uneven road.”The lower arm, cracked”, so said the mechanic.

“Original one are going to cost around RM700 or more each, and when changing, you need to change both.”

“Oh, its so happened that your front absorber is spoilt too, each of them cost RM200 and agian, cant just change one.”

“Let’s change them.”

So its said, so its done. Finally, after up few hours of work, test, finetune, balancing and alignment, my baby Sentra’s revived!!

VROOOM!! VROOOM!! Tackling corner at perfect angle, smooth and quite yet powerful overtake on winding road. Cool! All I need to do next will be the already-broken-down-for-n-month electronic crossover. By then, it will all be just like any vehicle commercial.

Yeah. Stable, quiet, and for the most part, safe ride where a baby can sleep even sweeter than in the mother’s arm. Just you wait.